Read it to believe it.....
1. Bring a pillow. Fall
asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez,
better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes
early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming
"Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in
essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols.
Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim
them at the instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read
questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop,
yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start
talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About
five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand
ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And
who in the world are you? Where's the regular guy?"
8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...).
Play with the volume at max level.
9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find
a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I
refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my
religious beliefs. Be creative.
10. Bring pets.
11. Run into the exam room looking about
frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've
found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up,
rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell
out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy
of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen
minutes.
13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or
fluorescent markers.
14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a
bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
15. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's
Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
16. Do the entire exam in another language.
If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman
numerals.
17. Bring things to throw at the instructor
when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
18. As soon as the instructor hands you the
exam, eat it.
19. Walk into the exam with an entourage.
Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get
the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a
percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all
your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes
into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple
choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting
things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam
with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it,
throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk
out triumphantly.
25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts
(i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all
leaving after one hour to go drink)
26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely
drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly.
If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the
light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a
clapper. DUH!"
28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is
looking that day.
29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak.
After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here,
the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
30. Go to an exam for a class you have no
clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would
recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight
for your right to take the exam.
31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over,
while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on
this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"
32. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the
theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they
finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the
Bridge on the River Kwai.
34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
35. If the exam is math/science related, make
up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers
into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own
life story.
36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit,
complete with sword and shield.
37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage
the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have
bad circulation.
38. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS
(make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam...
otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple
them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references
as you see fit."
39. When you walk in, complain about the
heat. Strip.
40. After you get the exam, call the
instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out
of him/her.
41. One word: Wrestlemania.
42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start
throwing them around like they do before concerts start.
43. Try to get people in the room to do the
wave.
44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other
side of the room.
45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol.
Put it right next to you. Act like you to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers,
balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
47. During the exam, take apart everything
around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
48. Complete the exam with everything you
write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play
various tunes.
50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten
Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks"
© LinkinMyth: My Generation
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