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| Yo' mamma or My mamma? |
If you
are familiar with Yo’ Mamma Jokes… your childhood must have been awesome—WiFi-free
and without smartphones. Damn, I miss those days.
YO MAMMA...
Warning:
Parental Guidance Advised!
(What the…! This is "yo' mamma" we are talking about, man!)
►SO OLD,
I told
her to act her own age, and she died.
her
social security number is 1!
that when
she was in school there was no history class.
her birth
certificate says expired on it.
she knew
Burger King while he was still a prince.
her birth
certificate is in Roman numerals.
►SO POOR,
she can't
afford to pay attention!
when she
goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers
when I
ring the doorbell she says, "DING!"
she went
to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
your
family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
her face
is on the front of a foodstamp.
she wave
around a popsicle stick and calls it air-conditioning.
burglars
break in her house and leave money
►SO DARK,
she went
to night school and was marked absent!
that she
can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
she has
to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep her from eating her
fingers.
they made
a movie of her heart transplant called "From the darkest heart of
Africa"
►SO SHORT,
you can
see her feet on her drivers lisence!
she has
to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
she can
play handball on the curb.
she does
backflips under the bed.
she
models for trophys.
she pole
vaults with a toothpick
she has
to look down to look up
►SO NASTY,
she made
Speed Stick slow down.
she made
Right Guard turn left.
the
fishery be paying her to leave
she has
to creep up on bathwater.
she made
Sure confused.
Ozzie
Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
she went
swimming and now we have the dead sea
►SO HAIRY,
she look
like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
Bigfoot
is taking her picture!
she looks
like a Chia Pet with an afro!
she
shaves with a weedwhacker
►SO SLUTTY,
when she
got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
►SO GREASY,
she used
bacon as a band-aid!
she
sweats Crisco!
►TEETH SO YELLOW,
traffic
slows down when she smiles!
she spits
butter!
I can't
believe its not butter
►SO LAZY,
she
thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
►SO SKINNY,
she has
to wear a belt with spandex.
skinny
she turned sideways and dissapeared.
►SO BALD,
you can
see what's on her mind
that she
took a shower and got brain-washed.
►GLASSES SO THICK,
that when
she looks on a map she can see people waving.
she can
see into the future.
►HAS,
one leg
and a bicycle.
one hand
and a Clapper.
a wooden
afro with an "X" carved in the back.
green
hair and thinks she's a tree.
one ear
and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
10
fingers--all on the same hand.
a glass
eye with a fish in it.
a short
leg and walks in circles.
a short
arm and can't applaude.
no
ears.... I seen her trying on sunglasses...
►HOUSE SO SMALL,
she has
to go outside to eat a large pizza.
small you
have to go outside to change your mind.
►HOUSE SO DIRTY,
she has to
wipe her feet before she goes outside.
►HEAD SO SMALL,
she use a
tea-bag as a pillow.
that she
got her ear pierced and died.
►MISC
 |
| Yeah... It's Yo' Mamma! |
Yo momma
breath so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.
Yo momma
lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.
Yo momma
teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.
Yo momma
mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Yo momma
hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.
Yo momma
so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.
Yo momma
so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.
Yo momma
twice the man you are.
Yo momma
cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.
Yo momma
is missing a finger and can't count past 9.
Yo momma
arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
Yo momma
middle name is Rambo.
Yo momma
in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna push me 'round no more."
Yo momma
so grouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.
Yo momma
is in a wheelchair screaming "I AIN'T STANDING FOR THIS"
Yo momma
threw a frizbee three weeks ago that hasn't landed yet.
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